No Refunds or Exchanges

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Fanfiction
Title: No Refunds or Exchanges
Author(s): astolat
Date(s): 31 August 2005
Length: 11,088 words
Genre: slash fanfiction
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
External Links: No Refunds or Exchanges (Intimations)
cover by Liva

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No Refunds or Exchanges is a John/Rodney Stargate Atlantis story by astolat. It was written for the sga_flashfic Harlequin challenge and Livia created a cover for the fanfic.

McKay/Sheppard Awards 2007 - Winner Romance

The story won the 2007 McShep Awards in the Romance category.

In 2009 general_jinjur podficced No Refunds or Exchanges .[1]

Summary: It shouldn't have been that hard to get good help.

Reactions and Reviews

Unknown Date

This is my favorite of the Harlequin challenge stories. On Atlantis, Rodney mail-orders a bride without reading the fine-print, and gets John instead of the blond female he had been expecting. Funny, sweet, hot and amazingly in character. [2]

harlequin challenge entry: rodney's lonely on atlantis and orders a mail-order bride. they send him john. brilliant, believable, full of cute dialogue and great angsty rodney pov and genuine harlequin plot! genius. [3]

2005

How much more established can a relationship get than the institution of marriage? Well, it's a new marriage. Oh, and one of the newlyweds is a mail-order husband. So it's just slightly AU, enough to show that John will do anything to get to Atlantis and will find himself when he gets there. The premise is hilarious; the execution is sweet, just achy enough in the middle, and brilliant throughout. [4]

2006

Why this must be read: Because it's from the infamous sga_flashfic Harlequin challenge. By far in my top three AU from this challenge. You have Atlantis, Rodney who sends away for a bride and gets.... John. It's somehow in character, fun with a little angst. [5]

This is slightly AU, so it can be enjoyed whether you know canon or not. It's a wonderful riff on the marriage of convenience idea, and was written for the influential Harlequin Challenge over on sga_flashfic. This author is one of the biggest names in the fandom, and her stuff is hugely entertaining. [6]

2007

There is a distinct possibility that I re-read this fic more often than any other, which is kind of appalling, because it's not even very long. And yet, it makes me so happy. In fact, it's kind of like popping a happy pill, which is always a good thing to have on hand.

Premise: Rodney McKay is stationed at a mostly safe and, apparently, not too classified Atlantis and is in desperate need of a maid. Unfortunately, any and all support personnel are immediately sucked up by the severely understaffed labs, so Rodney goes for the obvious second choice: mail-order bride. You can see why I like this story so much. Also? I bet you can guess exactly who the 'bride' turns out to be.

Full of fluff, humor, mild angst, and more fluff, this is definitely one to save for any day when you need a pick-me-up.[7]

This one takes some classic Harlequin cliches- mail order husband! marriage of convenience!- and brilliantly weaves them into an alternate Season One story line. astolat's characterization of John and Rodney is dead on. This one is so much fun. [8]

2011

First time. Fake/arranged marriage trope. Rodney orders a mail order bride, tall, blonde, IQ of 150. John Sheppard is not what he had in mind, but it may just be what he needs. AU on Atlantis. [9]

2014

A SGA fandom classic that’s warm and comfy like a fleece blanket on a cold night. It’s obviously written early in SGA time, Rodney’s name is given as Rodney Adair McKay, but it’s still perfect John and Rodney.

Rodney is in need of someone to take care of his apartment, laundry and meals on Atlantis. He resorts to essentially getting a mail order bride. Until John shows up as a male order husband.

John quickly becomes indispensable to Rodney until Rodney discovers Johns pilot skills and ATA gene.

Of course, there’s the usual inarticulate boyz, mutual misunderstandings and hot sex!

If you’ve never read this before, you’re in for a treat! [10]

2016

From only reading the summary I had no idea what to expect. When I realised this was pretty much a mail-order marriage AU, I was sure I would hate this story. I was wrong. Astolat dealt with this trope very well, in a way I wouldn’t have expected. This takes place in Atlantis, but John was not part of the expedition and the team had already brought a ZPM from earth with them. [11]

References

  1. ^ No Refunds Or Exchanges, posted by jinjurly 31 May 2009. (Accessed 31 July 2016)
  2. ^ JR.'s Parlor
  3. ^ Stargate recs; archived link
  4. ^ Rec50, 2005
  5. ^ rec at Crack Van, May 2006
  6. ^ cupidsbow's Primer for Reading SGA Fanfic (when you haven't seen a single episode of the show), June 22, 2006
  7. ^ jane_elliot in epic_recs: No Refunds or Exchanges by astolat (NC-17), 09 July 2007 (Accessed 06 March 2015)
  8. ^ from Merelyn at Massive SGA Recs Set, July 25, 2007
  9. ^ 2011 rec by lilyleia78 at Stargate: Atlantis Recsl
  10. ^ Slash World, 2014
  11. ^ Becca's Recs