Recycled Virgins

Fanfiction
Title:	Recycled Virgins
Author(s):	Kel
Date(s):	1998
Length:
Genre:
Fandom:	The X-Files
External Links:	online here
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Recycled Virgins is an X-Files story by Kel.

Story Header

Category: XRH, a little A

Keywords: MSR Rating: NC-17 for Part 3, PG-13 for the rest

Spoilers: Basically, everything up to Season 6. Set in October of 1998, before "The Beginning"

Summary: The world of MSR fanfic has many wonderful stories about the "first time." Here's one about the changes and adjustments that follow. Mulder and Scully suffer through their own insecurities as they take on the Consortium. Some jealousy for Mulder.

Disclaimer: Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Walter Skinner, Tom Colton, Marita Covarrubias, Jeffrey Spender, Diana Fowley, and the Cigarette Smoking Man belong to 1013. I borrowed them for fun but not profit.

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and Newt Gingrich belong to the real world. The events in this story do not.

Bob Dylan belongs to himself. His lyrics belong to eternity.

The fanfics cited in the opening are "Heat," by Brownie; "Impulse," by Suzanne Schramm; and "Frozen," by Dasha K.. Later on there's a nod and a wink to Plausible Deniability's "Iced Tea," the story that taught me why Scully knocks on the door of her own office. These are four superlative stories; if you haven't read them, do yourself a favor.

Reactions and Reviews

A wry, unflinchingly observant Scully raises this story above the crowd. I admit to an almost unbreakable bias towards first times, but this story shows M&S settling, none too smoothly, into a permanent relationship in the midst of the rest of their lives.

Why I Like This Story: 1) It's funny. It was four days since they had become lovers, and the discussion of prophylaxis was overdue. They'd made love twice that first day, without the benefit of latex. Their third time, on Monday, Mulder had torn open the foil pack he'd been carrying around for five years. His protection had poured out in dry, crisp flakes. And Scully hadn't even laughed.

Funny is hard. Kel manages to make it look easy, which is really hard.

2) There are real people in here. Well, fake-real people. I like it when they interact with fake-real people.

3) I love how M&S act like real people. Here they are, having a BIG TALK about love life and everything, and Scully's wondering if she should make him a sandwich. Awesome.

Funny is hard. Kel manages to make it look easy, which is really hard.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Humor is much harder to write than drama, and it gets no respect; even in the real world, the weepy drama or the biopic or the shoot-em up always wins the big award.

I like it when they interact with fake-real people.

I do too, and her original characters always seem just quirky enough to be real people. Even poor guy from the NIH who got taken over by the black oil alien seemed right. And Dr. Rakesh Prakash! With his big hands and his prescriptions for Viagra.

The special guest appearances by Vice President Gore and President Clinton were a bonus. Of course Skinner would have known Al Gore from serving in Vietnam.

I love how M&S act like real people. Here they are, having a BIG TALK about love life and everything, and Scully's wondering if she should make him a sandwich. Awesome.

I like all of the details she includes about their new life together as lovers. Yes, they do seem like real people, real people I'd even like and maybe want to have to my house for dinner. The sex seemed real, too, rather than like recycled romance cliches.

I figured the sandwich was Kel's little shout-out to Arcadia, which I realize hasn't aired yet but that makes it even better.

This one just didn't appeal to me.

The prose sure works. Kel is a very fine writer. She has an excellent sense of tone and pacing; Recycled Virgins felt well developed and tonally even, with a genuinely important plot that came together nicely and made sense. Her sense of humor is also stable. as a reader I felt like she wasn't going to tear the story apart for the sake of making a good joke, you know?

But these characterizations of Mulder and Scully don't work for me at all. the story felt fairly heteronormative to me - Scully seemed a LOT more feminine, Mulder seemed a bit more masculine, and the relationship seemed more traditional of what could be expected from a male/female couple. petty jealousy and bickering and (mild) sexual insecurity and Scully worrying about making sure Mulder eats properly.

aside from feeling heteronormative, these characterizations felt just plain normative to me. Mulder and Scully often felt as if they could be anybody - especially in how they related to each other. they seemed...almost effusive. I can't think of a better word, though this one is not what I quite mean. they seemed to take up more space and be less concentrated. especially Scully. Scully dates (dates chauvinistic morons, which is an idea I actually find nauseating), she apparently used to have long talks with her sister about sex, her nephews visit her, she calls Mulder 'honey' and gets in all out food fights a the office.

I mean, they've been together sexually for two days and Scully is using Mulder's razor on her legs. and Mulder is complaining about it.

1. I doubt Scully would do this even if they'd been together for years.

2. If she did, Mulder as I understand him, would never dream about embarrassing her by calling her on it - certainly not the first time she ever did it.

this is just one example, but all examples aside, it's not really any one specific thing in the case of this fic, so much as everything about the characterization(s) that doesn't seem in character to me. there were definitely moments that made me laugh. but I even had a hard time enjoying the humor because I didn't feel like it was humor about people I wanted to read about.

quite separate from the characterizations, I liked the plot. their semi-on-the-lam excursion was fun and exciting, and the scene in which they question *snaps fingers* whats'hisname, using Dylan quotes was great - fun and fascinating and quirky and a little bit spooky in its own way.

But these characterizations of Mulder and Scully don't work for me at all. the story felt fairly heteronormative to me Er...how do you mean? They're straight? I think that's still allowed, even in fanfic.

Er...how do you mean? They're straight?

Not at all, no. To give the most general of definitions, this is what Wiki has to say in definition of 'heteronormativity:

"Heteronormativity is a term for a set of lifestyle norms that imply that people fall into only one of two distinct and complementary genders (male and female) with each having certain natural roles in life, and that heterosexuality is the only normal sexual orientation-"

that does not mean that heteronormativity, when used in a case of literary analysis/dispute, must be in reference to an example that perfectly fulfills all the possible qualifications of what makes something 'heteronormative'. I don't think that Recycled Virgins means to be heteronormative, and i doubt that Kel herself would feel this story was heteronormative - i think perhaps she wrote the mulder/scully relationship with the intention of being realistic. more realistic than canon. but because heteronormativity is so prevalent in reality, and because the mulder/scully relationship of canon is quite unheteronormative, i feel that to try to write the x-files with that kind of realism, you almost can't avoid writing characterizations that are heteronormative by comparison.

"it's only out of character when you don't like it."

i tend to think of it in terms of, "it's only in character if you like it. what i mean by this distinction is that it is true that if i say a fic is In Character, i am synonymously saying that i like it, and if i say i like a fic it is to be assumed i think it's In Character. However, i find a large percentage of the fics i read to be Out Of Character - to one degree or another, in one way or another - but that doesn't mean i dislike those fics. "Out of Character" and "dislike" are not synonymous, nor are they mutually inclusive. whether i perceived a fic as being Out Of Character or not, i tend to feel quite warmly towards fanfic, for the very reason estella_c expressed: The addictive thing about fanfic is that the characters are layered, formed incrementally by varied imaginations.

however, there are times, occasionally, when the characterizations i'm reading are so different from my own perception of the characters that i no longer feel as if i'm reading about the characters at all. i can read Recycled Virgins and realize that it is (one of) Kel's version(s) of the characters, and i can appreciate it for that. but i can't appreciate it for being a story about mulder and scully, because for me something absolutely fundamental to what makes mulder and scully mulder and scully has been changed.

this is actually a dispute that comes up time and again, very clearly, in the epic debate that Iolokus has inspired: many people don't like Iolokus because to them it isn't mulder and scully in that story. they're not squeamish fans, they're not overly sensitive fans, they don't take issue with certain parts or aspects of the story. they just don't see those two characters as being mulder and scully on a fundamental level. There is no connection. Me? i LOVE Iolokus.

but on a fundamental level, i don't see the characters in Recycled Virgins to be mulder and scully.

The "out of character" criticism says as much about the reader as the writing.

exactly.

petty jealousy and bickering and (mild) sexual insecurity and Scully worrying about making sure Mulder eats properly.

Now, I am having a hard time seeing this as (1.) in any way different from canon (2.) heteronormative. You're not saying that gay men and lesbians are free of petty jealousy and bickering and mild sexual insecurity? And everyone has to eat.

The Mulder/Scully relationship in canon, leaving out the whole seasons 8,9,IWTB triptich of badness, is very non-heteronormative, at least in the sense that their relationship/partnership is not based on sex or sexual attraction or on sex-based gender roles. But the whole Mulder is a sensitive feminine guy and Scully is rational therefore masculine scientist argument always falls kind of flat for me. For one thing, he never seemed all that sensitive, and she never seemed any less feminine, whatever that is, for being a scientific rationalist. And once they are actually in a sexual relationship, which is what this story is about, well, sex does enter into things. Sex does change how men and women relate to one another. Doesn't it? Maybe I'm too steeped in heteronormativity in my own life to really know.

It doesn't seem out of character for Scully to try to take care of Mulder, she has done that many times during the course of the series. She's even taken his clothes off for him, it's just that before, she got to open the present but she never got to play with the toys. Or something like that.

Scully dated chavinistic morons. I can see why you are bothered by this, and you are not wrong to feel this way. At all. A lot of us back then dated them. We even wanted to have sex with them (head desk). Lucky Scully. She gets to dump the moron and both work and play with Mulder in this story, a double helping of wish fulfillment for women of the nineties. And, as a friend said to me in chat last night as we were discussing the story, at least the guy isn't a newly divorced, unemployed telemarketer/stock broker with anger issues and a homicidal tattoo.

aside from feeling heteronormative, these characterizations felt just plain normative to me. Mulder and Scully often felt as if they could be anybody - especially in how they related to each other. they seemed...almost effusive.

I think you are right that Kel wanted to write them as being more normal than on the show. I think as a reader, you either like the idea of Mulder and Scully getting to be "normal" or you don't. As you know, I am not crazy about the idea of them being in a romantic/sexual relationship anyway, but if they are, I'd like them to be happy, and yes, "normal," I guess, although I'm not sure that they would ever be "normal," given what they've seen and been through. I'm not sure that getting visits from one's nephews makes someone normal, nor does the presence or absence of talks with one's sister about sex. Normal. Another elusive concept. So then happy. Mainly happy. There isn't much of that to be had in TXF canon universe.

Maybe that is what rings false for you?

But leaving aside issues of heteronormativity (damn, I wish there was a shorter word for that) and characterization, which are all valid concerns to bring up regardless of how you define them, I get this didn't work for you. But then I suspect even if all of the things you brought up were reworked and rewritten, this might not work for you. Humor is not your genre, I keep forgetting that. I reread your comments about "Bone of Contention" just now, and you have a particularly narrow version of Mulder characterization for that story, for example, much narrower than you must use for "Iolokus." It's a double standard! Oh noes! You'll be happier when we discuss the story with the wall in the title. Amerella's story.

It's interesting how you discover your personal aesthetic by talking about fic. There are certain constants revealed concerning what you like. To wit:

1) I like comedy. Which is why Kel is a favorite.

2) I like quick, stripped-down prose carried by ditto dialogue. Kel's sentences positively slither, even as they pop with energy. It's like watching Fred dance with Ginger, during which you are able to forget, for the twentieth time, that they practiced until her feet bled.

3) And I believe--with apologies to our long-suffering moderator--that "it's only out of character when you don't like it." Mulder and Scully having an office food fight may be the weirdest thing they've ever done but, shucks, they've just had sex and I forgive them. For years I've quoted "they had run out of carbohydrates," not really remembering where I'd gotten it.

The addictive thing about fanfic is that the characters are layered, formed incrementally by varied imaginations. Mulder and Scully are tragic figures and the butt of jokes. They are noble and prone to pratfall, sensitive and mean-spirited. And when I enjoy seeing them behaving like a sitcom pair of office romantics it's because I *know* that they are heroes and survivors of worse and more cosmic challenges than any of us will ever face. I can laugh at Recycled Virgins (a brilliant title, brilliantly explained) because I've also read Night Giving off Flames. And The Beginner's Guide to Tightrope Walking.

As you see, it's all about me. Okay, Recycled Virgins? A very clever plot, which we don't appreciate enough because we keep thinking about Mulder sitting on Skinner's lap as they look at erotic art.

Always wear a bra, girls. It has nothing to do with getting into an accident. You might run into Bill Clinton.

[comment by the author]: I've been lurking and basking. I love attention, especially from thinking readers.

I do reread my stuff (sick, I know) but Recycled Virgins is one I've avoided for many years, and the reason is that food fight. My beta flagged it as a problem, and I thought about cutting it, but I loved it too much and I kept it, which I've come to see as a mistake. When I saw RV up for discussion, I took a deep breath and read it again.

And cringed again. I remembered the scene, but what I didn't remember was that it came right at the beginning of the story. It might have slid through somewhere in the middle, but no, that was my opening act. Luckily, it's only fic. The story was written at a time when there were serious discussions about whether M&S could both have sex and continue to work on the X-Files. This was my demo--see, it can be done. I brought head-hopping to an art and let the plot bunnies run wild, but I did explain Newt Gringrich's sudden resignation.

Poor Scully. In some ways I did right by her, but I see now that she was suffering from a touch of Scully-Sue Syndrome. I never went to the White House without a bra, but I did once drive my son to school in my pajamas, and then I had to run in after him when he forgot his lunch. I think that's almost the same thing.

Thanks to everyone for reading and especially for taking the time to comment. Kel

[Kel has] the rare gift of being able to poke fun at Mulder without being chauvinist - there are alarming levels of female chauvinism in this fandom, which has never made sense to me, since it goes against everything Scully stands for.

Um. What's female chavinism, and how does it relate to Mulder and fandom? Give some examples, please. Personally, I see much more free-floating Scully abuse and character assassination myself, but then I am a Scullyist, at least in the sense that I identify more strongly with her and am more attracted to her as a character.

For the record, I do believe that Scully loves Mulder but I doubt she approves of the things the fans give him grief for, like ditching her, and going off and getting himself into trouble. Well, I guess we could just blame the writers.

Trolling for examples of what I mean proved trickier than you'd think, (I'm thinking a lot of this fic was a pre-1998 trend) but I think I can explain to you the kind of stories I had in mind, in which Scully is smug and sexist and Mulder is represented as a buffoon or a jerk tolerated only for his GQ looks. I am a Scullyist, too (as well as a Mulderist) and this lack of respect for equality does a great disservice to both their characters, not to mention everything CC was trying to accomplish with his 'cerebral romance' experiment. Female chauvinism is simply what it sounds like - sexism towards men, rather than the respect our fellow beings deserve. I do remember clearly feeling that this was a wrong I wanted to right, when I began writing fic, so it must have been a consistent trend at one time.

Well, maybe Mulder doesn't do those things just because he's a man, but I think one could make a damned good argument that white male privilege plays a role in some of his more questionable behaviors. Keeping pornography at the office, displaying a calender with scantily clad women, sexual innuendo that might not get him fired, since breaking into a classified military base didn't, but it might get him a reprimand, should the long-suffering Agent Scully decide to press the issue.

Mulder gets away with things because of his connections to the Old Boys Club in the Government. His father worked for the State Department, he has access unheard of for most F.B.I. agents, even his informant, Deep Throat is a big mucky-muck in the Department of Defense. He is a child of economic and class privilege as well, and he acts it, down to the toes of his beautiful wingtips. He is, to put it bluntly, arrogant. He has many virtues, of course, but they're less entertaining to list, and do nothing to bolster my case. And then there is the family drama and so on.

All of these things also make him a great character to write, of course, but you already knew that.(:

Those could be--problematic--stories or they could be pretty good entertainment, depending on who was writing them. RivkaT writes a tough-minded, competent Scully and a pretty ineffectual Mulder in Deny Nothing, for example, but well, I buy her characterizations, at least for the length of the story. I certainly don't feel offended by them. If anything, they provide some balance to the series itself, where Mulder's beliefs in the supernatural nearly always triumph over Scully's insistence on science and proof.

I'm not certain if these are examples of what you went looking for, but I found two stories that were both written as post-eps for the same episodes that couldn't be more different in their approach. The first is by Tesla, written on request for a reader who donated money for tsunami relief. Her poor recipient asked for "Two Fathers/One Son" and wanted Scully to call Mulder on his behavior. I think she must have had Tesla confused with some other writer because "Turn of the Card" is not that fic. Personally, I think it takes a certain amount of arrogance to write the dead opposite of what was asked for, thereby proving for anyone who was in doubt that it's not a trait tied to the Y-chromosome after all. Then we have "Zero out the Variable" by Branwell, which you can read on her author's page at Goss. It's equally pissy, just in the opposite direction. It's longer, too, which is not helping her cause. Neither of these writers made any attempt at trying to see the worldview of both of their characters, and as a result their stories feel out of balance, and incomplete, among other problems. Sometimes this kind of story can show us something new and essential about the characters. But in this case, well, Tesla was in Scully-hating mode and Branwell was out to get Mulder. Fortunately, we have had such excellent work from both of these writers that we can forgive them these lapses....

Why am I put off by these two stories and not by "Deny Nothing"? I think RivkaT has an agenda but I don't think she lets it get in the way of writing a good story for us.

Mostly, I regret coming to fandom so late in life. Especially in TXF, I missed a glorious time. But I wonder how well I would have done, writing and posting in the midst of such a passionate time for the fandom.

...there's a rather neat food motif in Recycled Virgins.

It starts with the apologized-for food fight, an hysterical response to sexual release; continues with Mulder searching Scully's apartment in search of something unhealthful (salami); continues with Scully's drive to feed the beast (pasta with broccoli, but canned red sauce would be more appreciated); and ends when Mulder brings chocolate to the sleepover and Scully, terrified that sexual experimentation will ruin her sheets, is happy to realize that he wants s'mores.

From childhood to childhood. Or, out-of-control childhood to something more civilized.

I am so hungry now.

Loved it, for its humor and also as everyone already said, for the very clever plot. Especially the use of Scully's gentlemen callers. hehe.

“Recycled Virgins” is funny. When I sent feedback to Kel I told her that she’d written Scully out of character in this fic—come on, there is no way that Dana Scully would leave the house without a bra on—but that it was still a hoot. Although it might be funnier if you were alive and of voting age during the Clinton administration, since President Clinton and Vice-President Gore are characters in this fic. There are some bonus fic recs in her disclaimer, too. This is the fic equivalent of comfort food for me.